Thoroughly Fed Up

This post was originally going to be about global warming and the US government's continued lack of action. Then I had an epiphany – or maybe it was more of a collision between several trains of thought. Whatever.
In one such train, I realized that one more blog post on the subject wasn't going to convince the bone heads in power that are resisting change. These idiots still think the sun revolves around the Earth, and I'm no Galileo. What I can do, and what I should be doing, is changing those things I actually have control over.
At the same time, I was attending a national conference. Over the course of several presentations and conversation with other attendees, I realized "these are some pretty smart people!" Which inevitably lead to the question, "Are they smarter than me?" Did it matter?
Now, I'm damn good at my profession, but at the end of the day – or more importantly, life – how important will that be? Is the world as a whole going to be any different because of the quality of the software I produce? Quite frankly, no. And what good is it to be in the top of my profession if the rest of my life is solidly middle-of-the-road?
And that's when the real epiphany occurred. I need to change the way I'm living my life, so that it visibly reflects what I value. If you asked someone who casually knew me what I felt was important, would they be able to tell? Definitely not at this point in time, but I'm committed to changing that. Not everything at once; that would be doomed to failure. A solid, certain and deliberate change.
The first change I'm making – which I started last week – is to stop being a fat tub o' lard. I'm not counting calories, just cutting back on how much I eat and eliminating all of the junk. Trust me, there was a lot of junk; I've dropped 6 pounds in the past 6 days. Spring's here, so I won't have trouble increasing my activity level (lots of yard work to be done), but I also want to start doing more outdoor activities with my kids.
And that's the second set of changes I've started making. I am not proud of who I am as a father and husband. I'm not horrible, mind you, but I'm no where near where I want to be.
You see, that's where the real difference comes in. I'm going to be thinking a lot more about my life and how I'm running it. Does that mean that I'll be using less of my brain power for issues at work? Probably. But you know what? Fuck work. That's not the end all of who I want to be.

Modern Medicine's Lack of Logic

I've come to the conclusion that, while technology continues to progress, the attitudes and viewpoint of those in the medical community are regressing. Medicine in its current incarnation is not deserving of the title "Science". The primary evidence of this? The lack of a holistic view of health.

I'm not even talking about including spiritual, or even psychological health, but just the most basic idea of the body as a single, interrelated system.

To start with, look at the insurance situation in the United States. If you have Medical Insurance, why do you also need Dental and Vision? Last time I checked, teeth and eyes are part of your body. What's next, Dermal Insurance?

This attitude that physical health can somehow be neatly compartmentalized is also evident in the attitudes of many members of the medical community. When talking to numerous health practitioners about our daughter's autism diagnosis, I have been shocked and amazed by the number of people who take the attitude: "it's a neurological disorder, there's no way diet or circulatory conditions could have an impact on it."

What!? Are they really that stupid? Is there some invisible forcefield in everyone's body that keeps these things separate? Are the materials that make up neurons and neurotransmitters spontaneously generated?

I may be working as a software developer, but my undergraduate and graduate training are in Physics. As such, I know of what I speak and when it comes to scientific methodology, the practice of modern medicine is closer to astrology than any true science.

Wait and F**king See

Back in college, we used to have a running joke about how the infirmary seemed obsessed about giving out packets of "salt and soda gargle" for almost any ailment. Got a cold? Salt & soda gargle. A stomach ache? Salt & soda gargle. A broken leg? Salt & soda gargle. Your left arm just fell off? Salt & soda gargle. It was funny in large part because the health services were essentially free so no one really expected fantastic service.

Unfortunately, I have come to realize that you should expect the same level of service in the "real world", particularly when it comes to health care for your kids. Only now the miracle cure isn't salt and soda gargle, it's "wait and see". Your child has a cold? Wait and see. A stomach ache? Wait and see. Reflux so persistent that she's either in constantly soaked clothes or has to have a binky in her mouth, which is interfering with her being able to develop her already severely delayed language skills? You guessed it... wait and f**king see.

I don't really know why I expected any different. The perception our society holds for doctors is that they are somehow superhuman -- after all, they survive all those years of school and a grueling internship, they must be to intellectual prowess what Navy seals are to physical fitness. In reality this is only an ideal, how we wish doctors would be.

I see the same thing in my own profession -- software development. There are a woefully small number of software developers who actually give a crap about what they do and an even smaller percentage of those who have the skills to do it well. Most are either clumsy wannabes or only in it for the money. The same principle applies to doctors, apparently.

Of course, the wait and see response is a perfect hedge against litigation -- after all how can you be sued for malpractice if you never practice at all!

Veg-head no more (for now)

The big news in my personal life is that I've (temporarily) given up being a vegetarian. With DD on a GF/CF diet and DS allergic to wheat, soy and egg yolks, it really limits what the family as a whole can eat. In light of the fact that neither of the kids chose their dietary constraints, continuing to add my own, optional vegetarianism into the mix would be the height of selfishness. And so, I've reintroduced meat into my diet. I started small a couple of weeks ago with just poultry and fish. I still have a hard time ingesting mammals, although I have no trouble overcoming that when the practically intoxicating taste of bacon and pepperoni are concerned.

I also see this as just a temporary change. Some day, if I'm still walking around at that point, the kids will be out on their own and I can once again remove meat from my diet. The ideal of vegetarianism is still one of my core values, it just happens to be lower than the value I hold on my family!

Adventures in Autism

I've certainly been reading a lot more about Autism Spectrum Disorders that I ever thought I would be. DD's primary delays are in the realm of "expressive and receptive language". The team diagnosed other symptoms to a mild degree, but I have yet to be convinced whether any of those are part of her ASD, or are a result of her primary challenge, or are just normal individual variation. That's one of the things that has struck me about ASD -- the large number of symptom-groups and how much individual kids vary in which ones they have and to what degree. Bobby might have severe delay in A & B and a milder difficulty with D, while Billy has a lot of trouble with C and some issues with B & E.

The other thing that's struck me is the wide range of treatments and the fact that nothing's definitely effective in all cases. While my own science background is not in biology, the studies I've read and the widely varying anectodal evidence strongly suggests that there is not just one cause of ASD. There are likely multiple causes and therefore different kids will have different results for a given treatment. For DD, a glutin-free casein-free diet has definitely made a difference. This suggests that an opiate reaction may be part of what's causing her symptoms. Again, however, I don't believe there is necessarily a single cause for ASD. So while she will be starting Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy soon, we will also be pushing for more tests to be done where appropriate.