Things I wish I'd written (TIWIW)

I have a real fondness for the well turned phrase. Perhaps it's because I have such a hard time expressing things with words. I stutter and stumble and struggle against the long pauses that occur as I try to come up with the words to convey whatever it is that my mind silently grasps.

Whether it's a quote from a famous person, the lyric in a song, or a passage in a novel (usually by a British author, it seems), I really admire good writing. And there's a lot of it that originates right in my own "back yard", as it were. A few of the more recent gems:

"I feel like a UN translator for toddlers doing haiku narratives"

"While many admire the premise, it seems like [Woody] Allen's continuing his grim march into mediocrity"

"[She] involves her whole body in taking a poop: facial grimacing, guttural noises, legs scrunched up... If we adults did that, we'd be committed. Particularly if we did it in our pants, in public."